Tulip the farmer

Hello again.

Last time I said my hobbies were getting drunk on Saturday night and rugby league. This wasn't strictly true because I also love football. I support Manchester United ( I fit the criteria for a Manchester United supporter because I don't live anywhere near Manchester).

Every time I start talking about football my uncle changes the subject. He must be the only man on the island who doesn't like football but he says he can name loads of other folk who also don't like football.

Anyway the other night he butted in on my football stories and said we would have a spelling test. I'm not over good with spelling (in fact when I was 14 I couldn't spell my own name). So he starts nattering on so I said I could spell loads of words and there would be some he couldn't spell.

I had no trouble with David Beckham, Ryan Giggs or Andreyas Shevchenko but then he says "O.K. spell ptarmigan. I bet you don't even know which letter it starts with?"

"Well obviously it starts with a 'T'!" says I. He just smiled and said "No it doesn't, it starts with a silent P as in swimming pool."

I think my uncle is cracking up!

Hello.

I am known as Tulip. I was christened this as an exercise in lateral thinking by my uncle. It's odd really because I have trouble thinking in the straight ahead position never mind sideways.

Anyway, I'm 21 years old and when I grow up I want to be a farmer. I have all sorts of adventures on the farm and over the next few weeks I'll explain some of them and my thoughts on life.

My hobbies include playing rugby league and getting drunk on a Saturday night. I went training the other night and they carried out a dope test on us all. I was amazed when they told me I'd won. When I told my uncle he wasn't at all surprised but I can't understand why. I don't understand my uncle sometimes!